and look back at my life i realise there are so many things taken for granted. There are so many people who struggle to make ends meet to live their dignified middle class existence. So many fathers who work overtime and work weekends to save money to get their daughters married and mothers who never buy anything for themselves to save every penny they have.
As i get older i get angry when i keep seeing that poor people are ill treated because they have no money...when men as old as our fathers are made to wait on the side with their arms folded because they do not move in your social circles...women as old as our mothers go home to home cooking and making bakshanams in various people's homes and sometimes not even offered hot coffee to drink or given a break from the gruelling work.
Why are we so cruel hearted towards innocent kids...getting angry at them when they follow you with greedy eyes when you walk out of a sweet shop holding a huge packet of goodies...why! don't those children have desires? Why is it fully acceptable for your maid to bring in her little daughter with her to work and wash utensils and you think the maid is being practical but it is okay when you stress out and hyperventilate when your teenage son goes to the nearby kirana shop to get a soap bar and you worry that he is only a kid...As i get older i keep wondering why are we so hypocritical....
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
My son is a doctor...
said the man who was sitting next to me in the Lufthansa flight to India. He is in a verry goodd position...he proudly states. His house is so big...6 bedrooms..ha ha..i was getting lost for the first few days. Then he launched on the appliances sonny boy has got. He has only expensive items in his home...only the best...and he drives BMW..and so does his wife..uhhh...ah..she drives an SUV (happy he remembered the make of the car..it is important info u know!). My dil is a verry good girl...little stylish..but you know....today's generation...here in America they do not like people wearing indian clothes..so she is forced to wear skirts and jeans. Well..i just smiled and nodded and pretended to feel sleepy. I was ready to fake sleep so i do not have to hear this boring bragging for a few more hours....but the man seemed to have no pity on me.
What is up with people who bore you with details of their homes?? Do they think the rest of us care...or do they think that position their kids or family members have are unattainable?? Or do they subject strangers with this torture coz nobody else in their family or friends listens to them!! I have unfortunately been subjected to this sort of bragging many a times!! Like the last time...yep..again to a flight to India (maybe i gotta stop flying alone..this could be a sign!) where a gentleman next to me..was claiming that he was a caterer to the movie stars in India. How he knew Amitji (roll eyes), Jeethu bhaisahab (roll..roll..roll eyes) and his daughter...and a couple more..seriously i can't remember. He talked non-stop and it was really sad..coz i was pumped up on Niquil and i guess through his talking fell asleep...coz i really do not recall him stopping...and when i woke up...he seemed a bit cold for a while (yahoo!!)...but went on about integrity and generation gap later on!! Yikes!!
Then there is another type...who bitch and crib and whine on how there is no respect for them. We are all alone in India...this aunty tells me in the grocery store here in Kroger the other day. If uncle is falling sick....i take care...but when i am sick...poor uncle does everything for me :(...my son wants to come...but....you know...she nods suggestively....mmchh...what to do ma..we have done our duty as parents..now all our happiness is with our children..gives me a nirupa-roy smile (if u do not know who is nirupa roy...shame on you!!). I am seriously in a dhuvidha...coz my blood is boiling that she blames dil..but i can't be mean to her coz it is not nice to be rude (yeah...even i at times do get complacent!).
But..in the end what comes to me is there has to be an end to whining and discussing private issues with all and sundry! You can share it with friends...people you know...but when you spill ur guts to people around you or brag to them...you are really making the innocent bystander's life miserable...
What is up with people who bore you with details of their homes?? Do they think the rest of us care...or do they think that position their kids or family members have are unattainable?? Or do they subject strangers with this torture coz nobody else in their family or friends listens to them!! I have unfortunately been subjected to this sort of bragging many a times!! Like the last time...yep..again to a flight to India (maybe i gotta stop flying alone..this could be a sign!) where a gentleman next to me..was claiming that he was a caterer to the movie stars in India. How he knew Amitji (roll eyes), Jeethu bhaisahab (roll..roll..roll eyes) and his daughter...and a couple more..seriously i can't remember. He talked non-stop and it was really sad..coz i was pumped up on Niquil and i guess through his talking fell asleep...coz i really do not recall him stopping...and when i woke up...he seemed a bit cold for a while (yahoo!!)...but went on about integrity and generation gap later on!! Yikes!!
Then there is another type...who bitch and crib and whine on how there is no respect for them. We are all alone in India...this aunty tells me in the grocery store here in Kroger the other day. If uncle is falling sick....i take care...but when i am sick...poor uncle does everything for me :(...my son wants to come...but....you know...she nods suggestively....mmchh...what to do ma..we have done our duty as parents..now all our happiness is with our children..gives me a nirupa-roy smile (if u do not know who is nirupa roy...shame on you!!). I am seriously in a dhuvidha...coz my blood is boiling that she blames dil..but i can't be mean to her coz it is not nice to be rude (yeah...even i at times do get complacent!).
But..in the end what comes to me is there has to be an end to whining and discussing private issues with all and sundry! You can share it with friends...people you know...but when you spill ur guts to people around you or brag to them...you are really making the innocent bystander's life miserable...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
The pride of being subservient....
so a buddy a few days back proudly states to me 'avarku fresh sapadu thaan pidikum'..translate to 'my husband likes only fresh food'..so i ask her what do you do with left-overs?? She claims to me that she eats it...but she insists that hubs is very kind and does not mind rasam and curry...but it should be fresh. It really made me quite mad..not only is this 21st century woman putting up with this insane demand..she seems to revel in the fact that her husband is demanding. It then came to my mind...why do some women act this this fashion??..they are really taking women back 100 some years.
Just the other day my sis had gone to my nephews' school to pay their fees and was relating this incident to me. A lady with her husband and her mom had come to school to pay her kid's fees too. The husband was talking on the phone and acting important...the lady and her mother were standing in the line... i guess it was getting late for her to go to work...so her mother offered to stand and wait and pay the fee while she could go ahead to work. As she was leaving..her husband (still on the phone) basically yells at her and tells her 'go and stand in the line and pay the fees'..so this woman goes to the line....where her mother insists that she better go to work or she would get yelled at by her boss. My sister told me this scene happenned for 10 minutes and this poor woman was walking back and forth between husband and mom!! and all this in front of other parents in school to see. Actually this incident made me so sad for her...here is a woman smart and capable...but why can't she stand-up for herself! What sort of impression must she be giving to her children. If she were treated this poorly in front of strangers..i can imagine her plight at home!
This brings back to another point where women love to be dominated or perhaps not dominated...but love to do everything for their husband....our neighbour in Hyd. was not feeling well...so her son and dil came to see her. The dil went around the neighbourhood stating quite proudly...i wish i could stay back and take care of my darling mil..but my husband does not know anything (btw. she means in the kitchen...i am sure if he were dumb in other areas...she would be mighty pissed :D )...so i have to go with him. Really!! you married him when he was 28...and he was living alone from 21 years of age (he is my neighbour..so i know this people)....so what do you think he did for those years when you were not married to him?? starve!!...Now don't take me wrong..she does not have to stay back to take care of mil..,but what made it funny or let me be honest irritating was..how she claimed and groaned and moaned about how her husband could do nothing without her...and how she is compelled to go instead of basically taking care of mil :D .Many women feel they are important only when they cook and clean and have their husbands totally dependent on them. Like in Hindi movies..where the men go around screaming for their wives to stich a shirt button...and she she stiches it oh! soo lovingly...like it is pure bliss(puke).
What amazes me is that these women are smart...capable..financially independent and not complacent...but there is something in them that accepts men as their superior and are immensely happy in catering to their whims and fancies....
Just the other day my sis had gone to my nephews' school to pay their fees and was relating this incident to me. A lady with her husband and her mom had come to school to pay her kid's fees too. The husband was talking on the phone and acting important...the lady and her mother were standing in the line... i guess it was getting late for her to go to work...so her mother offered to stand and wait and pay the fee while she could go ahead to work. As she was leaving..her husband (still on the phone) basically yells at her and tells her 'go and stand in the line and pay the fees'..so this woman goes to the line....where her mother insists that she better go to work or she would get yelled at by her boss. My sister told me this scene happenned for 10 minutes and this poor woman was walking back and forth between husband and mom!! and all this in front of other parents in school to see. Actually this incident made me so sad for her...here is a woman smart and capable...but why can't she stand-up for herself! What sort of impression must she be giving to her children. If she were treated this poorly in front of strangers..i can imagine her plight at home!
This brings back to another point where women love to be dominated or perhaps not dominated...but love to do everything for their husband....our neighbour in Hyd. was not feeling well...so her son and dil came to see her. The dil went around the neighbourhood stating quite proudly...i wish i could stay back and take care of my darling mil..but my husband does not know anything (btw. she means in the kitchen...i am sure if he were dumb in other areas...she would be mighty pissed :D )...so i have to go with him. Really!! you married him when he was 28...and he was living alone from 21 years of age (he is my neighbour..so i know this people)....so what do you think he did for those years when you were not married to him?? starve!!...Now don't take me wrong..she does not have to stay back to take care of mil..,but what made it funny or let me be honest irritating was..how she claimed and groaned and moaned about how her husband could do nothing without her...and how she is compelled to go instead of basically taking care of mil :D .Many women feel they are important only when they cook and clean and have their husbands totally dependent on them. Like in Hindi movies..where the men go around screaming for their wives to stich a shirt button...and she she stiches it oh! soo lovingly...like it is pure bliss(puke).
What amazes me is that these women are smart...capable..financially independent and not complacent...but there is something in them that accepts men as their superior and are immensely happy in catering to their whims and fancies....
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
What do you do all day at home
she asks me....grrrr...i could bite her head off. Since i have decided to take a break from work and concentrate on some other things that are in priority for me. ..i have been asked this question oh! soo many times..and it sets my teeth on edge..coz honestly it is none of their freakin business. I also get on how lucky i am to sleep till 8:00 am..i wish i could get-up that late...have that luxury..they coo...umm..quit ur freakin job and stop being such a money whore...i want to scream. Who put a gun to ur head telling you to work!! really...aren't we all making choices most of the time. Many women go to work..coz they like the independence...the money that comes with it..the career growth...well..there are some of us who are fed-up with the rat race and want to cool off.
Then i get another favorite question..well..u are at home ..might as well have a baby!!..umm..really...so a baby is something you have to pass ur time?? For me..having a baby is something you desire and you have chalked out some plans for it...it is not something you say monday morning...yawn! i am bored..let's have a baby...i guess many do that...but that is so not my style. I love it when there are some elders in families who say....have a baby....everything will take care by itself!! hmmm...pray tell me how?? Of-course when i ask questions like this..i am labelled as insolent...someone with no respect to the elderly folks...aiyooo...i guess only if you stick to the norm can you open ur big mouth...otherwise..better keep ur trap shut huh!!
Then i get another favorite question..well..u are at home ..might as well have a baby!!..umm..really...so a baby is something you have to pass ur time?? For me..having a baby is something you desire and you have chalked out some plans for it...it is not something you say monday morning...yawn! i am bored..let's have a baby...i guess many do that...but that is so not my style. I love it when there are some elders in families who say....have a baby....everything will take care by itself!! hmmm...pray tell me how?? Of-course when i ask questions like this..i am labelled as insolent...someone with no respect to the elderly folks...aiyooo...i guess only if you stick to the norm can you open ur big mouth...otherwise..better keep ur trap shut huh!!
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